I think my night was ruined when Apolo got DQed in the 500m final, lmao. SERIOUSLY HE SO DID NOT /PUSH/ THE CANADIAN. There is so much touching and pushing in short track and most of the time it’s ignored. I SWEAR IT’S BECAUSE OF THE JUDGE. BOO, YOU WHORE. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH APOLO OMFG. He seriously deserved to get that silver especially because it’s his last Olympics. URGH.
AND THE RELAY. OHMYGOD. The whole time I was like HURRY THE FUCK UP USA GOD DAMNIT. Sigh, at least USA got to the podium.
“…all of a sudden I was causing a stir because I was wearing a chinchilla scarf that someone thought was a boa. First of all, boas are so out. Secondly, I would never wear a boa to a press conference.”—Johnny Weir
hahahhah so i was reading this group (and the you know you’re chinese when… group) on fb, and i loled so much at its accuracy. well a lot of them were just like …no… but some hit the nail on the head. hahaha. some good ones…
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm (…though it’s gone now)
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15 (i actually just do this myself)
You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they’re still lecturing
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
You’ve had a bowl haircut at one point in your life
Your parents send money to their relatives in China
You’ve had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library (pre-2003 years when my parents still had friends)
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin (they say that every grain of rice equates to a bead of sweat on a farmer’s neck. or something to that effect)
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green
Your parents have never kissed each other
You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents
You have a piano in your living room (we actually have two)
The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
You twirl your pen around your fingers.
Your parents have either make you play the piano, the violin, or both (i’ve played and quit both)
Your parents grow vegetables in a garden (in the past. in fact, we used to have a greenhouse. and a pond. this was in england where there are pretty gardens. now we have a miniscule front yard …and a deck)
You use a face cloth.
You own a rice cooker or two
You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times
You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can “grow into it” and wear it for years to come
You don’t understand why white people keep tripping off of corporal punishment, isn’t that a way of life?
You don’t use measuring cups. (apparently french people don’t use them either? at least my host family in dijon didn’t)
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
When you finally think you’ve done something to make your parents proud, there’s some 12-year-old kid in the newspaper who got a 2400 on the SAT, whom you must now hear about for three hours from your not-so-proud mom
Your parents never talk to you about safe sex with you but expect you to know
Your dad points with his middle finger
You add water to juice, shampoo, soap, etc. to make them last longer(omg hahhahah ALWAYS for soap)
You take off your shoes when you come into the house (wait, don’t all cultures do that?)
Tin foil is used to protect your oven/stovechest of drawers (…wait what? hahaha. seriously, my drawers are lined with tin foil because my mom thought the texture of the wood was too rough to touch my clothing)
You use your dishwasher as a dish rack and don’t use it
You mentioned who was the “smartest kid in the class” when you were seven, and your parents remember the kid’s name and still compares you to that kid until the end of high school even though you haven’t been in touch with that kid for at least 6 years (my favorite)
also, i don’t know about the validity of this one with regard to my life in specific (yet), but i found it hilarious nonetheless:
You know you’re asian when you get in trouble for dating while you’re in school and then get in trouble for not having a wife when you finish school
i actually feel like a lot of the ones in the lists from the fb groups applied more in the past when my family and i lived in england. we used to always go to this thing called “sunday market” where my family would purchase the most random 2nd hand objects ever. i got most of my childhood toys from there. i used to wear hand-me-downs from random family friends. we used to have a ton of non-matching furniture/wallpaper/etc. and everything was 2nd hand. we used to rent out rooms in our home to other asian people. we used to have huge rectangular knives that my dad would sharpen with a rock. my parents used to socialize with other asian parents and discuss ~things~, and they’d actually attend huge asian gatherings. i used to get chinese new year money in red bags. we used to be SO frugal. we saved everything and spent little. we sought out bargains and sacrificed quantity (but hardly ever quality… even the 2nd hand stuff had to meet a standard).
but somehow over the past few years in america, we’ve become a bit more westernized, and a lot less frugal.
i’ve stopped wanting things (seriously, i don’t even know. my parents are forcing me to buy new things now. i remember when i used to BEG for toys that my parents would NEVER buy me. and ok so maybe i still want things, but i always ask myself, do i really need this? and the answer is always no), yet my parents have become more generous. we buy brand new furniture and clothing now. we’ve actually acquired this unspoken distaste for 2nd hand objects. we bought an extra dining table for no apparent reason… i mean, i don’t think we’ve gotten any richer.
this is all relative, of course. we still save napkins from restaurants, but it’s more about not being wasteful of resources rather than not being wasteful of our money and having to buy our own napkins. we buy our own napkins now. we bought a napkin holder. two in fact! we’re still frugal by definition, but definitely a lot less than the extent to which we were before, and a lot less than the asian stereotype imparts.
DUDE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE IS TRUE AND ALSO VIVIAN WAS DYING