RONALD WEASLEY. HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR?! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED. YOUR FATHER’S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT’S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT. IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE’LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME. Oh and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud.
Oh you know just beat Voldermort when I was 11. Then his memory when I was 12. Saved my godfather when I was 13. Competed in a Triwizard Cup when I was 14 then watched my sort of friend die and witnessed the rebirth of the Dark Lord but made it out alive. Oh when I was 15 I fought Voldermort again and found out that I have a destiny and that I had to kill Voldermort if the Wizarding World were to find peace. When I was 16, I had to deal with that info and school and find Horcruxes in order to kill Voldermort and had to watch my mentor die at the hands of my enemy. 17 was a rough year too. I couldn’t return to school, Voldermort took over the Wizarding World, I chased down Horcruxes with my best friends, almost lost one, found the place where my parents died protecting me, then I broke into a bank, stole a dragon, flew to Hogwarts and lead my friends into battle against the forces of evil, losing some of them at the hands of evil wizards, then sacrificed myself so the war could end and give my friends a chance. Turns out I managed to kill the part of Voldermort in me then killed him and saved the entire world. And that was all in just a span of 7 years.
Hey Edward Cullen, you’ve been around forever. What the fuck have you done besides whine and bitch and moan?
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.
then I broke into a bank, stole a dragon, flew to Hogwarts and lead my friends into battle against the forces of evil
OMFG Harry is such a badass.
Not to mention defeating Voldemort at only 1.
Hey, can we get some internets over here please? Preferably gift wrapped?
The feeling you get when you haven’t had access to the internet (i.e. facebook and twitter) for a long time, like several minutes. (A family is on vacation) Mom: Johnny, come to dinner! Johnny: Fucking not hungry! Mom (to dad): What the hell is wrong with him? Dad: He’s got postmodem depression; he can’t update his facebook status. Mom: But we have only been here for 15 minutes.